I had an experience recently that I haven't been able to shake. I was sitting in an emergency room supporting someone who needed medical care. Across from us sat an elderly couple, quietly waiting their turn. Eventually an intake nurse came over and spoke with them. As is often the case in a busy emergency department, the conversation happened openly enough that everyone nearby could hear. During the night, the husband had woken from a bad dream feeling unwell. He had asked h

I've written about this before, but it feels like the right time to say it again. I'm going to use one of the most disturbing investigations of my career to explain what I mean. I was the lead investigator on a case involving a youth pastor accused of sexually abusing boys from his church. Before I go any further, let me be very clear. I have investigated countless sexual offences involving children, youth, and adults—male victims and female victims alike. Despite what the wo

This is a horrible story. I didn't include it in Tightrope. It was in one of the early drafts, but when I had to cut the manuscript down to around 200 pages, this story was one of the casualties. Looking back, I think it was a mistake to leave it out. It's difficult to tell, not because I did anything wrong. In fact, it's difficult because I believe everyone involved was trying to do the right thing. And yet the consequences were unimaginable. Years ago, I inherited several c

Let me explain. I believe one of the best things to come out of Covid was social distancing. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people invade my personal space. And let me tell you, there is no shortage of situations where personal space is invaded completely unnecessarily. One of the worst experiences I have ever had with this happened years ago, long before Covid. It's a brutal story and, to be honest, people have nearly peed their pants laughing when they've heard it, so

Last week, someone reached out and asked if I would meet with them. This person is incredibly well-connected and, quite frankly, an amazing human being, someone who does more for the people and communities around them than most of us ever will. I accepted the invitation, and we spent a couple of hours together. To be honest, I was surprised they had that much time in their schedule to give to me. The entire meeting felt a little surreal as I listened to what they were current

I love the saying: "Some people think I am a total bitch. Others say I am the nicest person they know. Believe both—they got the version they deserved." I can safely say that nobody who knows me would describe me as vanilla. Now, don't get me wrong. Vanilla ice cream is one of the most popular flavours in the world, and what is a sandwich without mayonnaise? But when it comes to leadership, high-risk work, or environments that demand courage and accountability, you can't fill

Life is a series of ups and downs. None of us are exempt from that. In many ways, we only recognize the good times because we've lived through the difficult ones. One of the hardest experiences, though, is feeling like you've become the target of someone else's actions. You work hard, dedicate yourself to a role, build something meaningful, and then suddenly find yourself fighting not to grow, but simply to hold onto what you've earned. I've experienced that more than once. I

Recently I heard a story involving a national broadcasting network and a so-called “comedy” production that had been approved as part of a prank show. When I learned what had actually happened and that it was supported and funded by a national broadcaster, I was honestly disgusted. It was not funny. It was not comedy. It was humiliation disguised as entertainment. You can look up the full story yourself if you want, but I’ll share enough here to explain why this bothered me s

May is Mental Health Month, so I am going to honour it by doing another post about it. Several things have happened in the world and in my personal circle in the past couple of weeks that have highlighted to me that we often want to compare trauma. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people are interested in sitting in a circle comparing experiences like hockey trading cards. It’s more subtle than that because it’s often hidden behind something else. Sometimes it sounds like:

May is Mental Health Month. In one sense, that is amazing. We now have a whole month dedicated to conversations about how people are surviving mentally and emotionally. In another sense, it’s hard not to think: seriously? This matters every single day. This year, I struggled with how I wanted to approach writing about it. Then last week, I learned of another incident, a young person ending their life. When I worked in policing, I saw versions of the same story over and over a

I’m not going to name the food company I’m talking about. Honestly, there are probably a few giant chains that could fit this story anyway, so that works for me. And frankly, I have zero interest in getting dragged into a lawsuit over an opinion piece. Here’s what happened. Last week, I was headed to the store already in a bad mood. I had even posted about it earlier that day, so I’m fully aware my reaction may have been sharper because of that. Still, I sat with it for an en

I’d like to think that since retiring from policing, I’ve settled down, calmed in ways that once felt out of reach for me. The constant pressure is gone. The internal politics, the external scrutiny, the relentless social media criticism, it’s no longer part of my daily life. Since retiring, I’ve taken the time to “do the work,” so to speak. Therapy. EMDR. Eating well. Writing. Walking. Trying to take care of both my mind and my body in ways I couldn’t before. Research shows

I used to be proud of how “resilient” I was. I bragged about it. I could read a file about horrific child abuse, then head straight to my kid’s school and sit through a concert like nothing happened. No pause. No processing. Just moving on. I was like a human trash compactor. Everything came in, and I crushed it down, tight, controlled, buried deep, so there’d be room for whatever came next. I thought that made me a great cop. Strong. Unshakeable. In control. My Psychologist

I have to admit, I got pulled into watching clips of Justin Bieber’s Coachella performance last weekend. I was never really a fan. I was too old when he first came onto the scene. But as a Canadian, I always respected what he accomplished, how quickly he rose, and how massive it all became. And maybe it’s the investigator in me, the years spent in serious crime and child abuse work, but I always had a feeling. When someone that young enters an industry like that, surrounded b

It’s hard to watch. People in tears. Shaking. Completely undone by a test. And yet, somehow, it’s the test that seems to matter most. Not the hours of study. Not the practice. Not the setbacks, frustration, or quiet perseverance. Just that one moment. Sometimes minutes. Sometimes seconds. And we hang our entire sense of worth on it. I have heard dozens of stories about people failing tests of all kinds. What strikes me most is how similar those stories are. Someone fails, que

Sometimes It’s a Conversation Closure can be just moving on. Or at least, that’s what I thought. When I wrote Tightrope , I knew people might reach out. Friends. Colleagues. Maybe even individuals connected to the files I had worked on. What I didn’t expect was how much I still had to learn about closure. Writing the book felt like crossing a bridge. It gave me distance in many ways, physical, mental and emotional from 27 years of policing. It allowed me to step away from the

Because it isn’t. What we call the “justice system” is, in reality, a legal process, one that has been shaped over decades by missteps, competing interests, and whoever has managed to have the loudest voice or the most persuasive argument at any given time. It was never meant to be this. It was meant to ensure fair, timely, and ethical trials. Instead, we now see serious cases dismissed over timelines, procedural delays, court availability, or witness issues. Not because the

I’ve seen it happen to other women and men. I’ve heard the stories. I’ve wondered what compels someone, who doesn’t know you, hasn’t lived your experiences, to step in and tell you to stop talking? I just didn’t expect it to happen to me. Especially not from someone who had previously messaged me with encouragement. Someone who had supported my writing. My voice. My courage. And then this: “Why do you keep telling people on LinkedIn about your issues with the Police? People o

Have you ever had that happen? You walk into a room where people are having what they thought was a private conversation about you… and there you are standing there listening to it. I’m sure it has happened to me several times over the years, but one instance stands out because there was absolutely no mistaking what was happening. I was a Sergeant at the time, in charge of a very busy Serious Crimes investigative unit. My team spent most of their shifts driving across the reg

Don’t get me wrong, this is not The Sixth Sense . I don’t actually hear dead people speaking to me. What I mean is that people at the end of their lives offer insights that can only come when you know the life you had a chance to live is almost over. And interestingly, the advice is almost always the same. Those who die younger often have slightly different reflections than those who lived long lives, but the themes repeat themselves over and over again. There are a handful o