I Just Got Told To Shut Up On LinkedIn

I’ve seen it happen to other women and men. I’ve heard the stories. I’ve wondered what compels someone, who doesn’t know you, hasn’t lived your experiences, to step in and tell you to stop talking?

I just didn’t expect it to happen to me.

Especially not from someone who had previously messaged me with encouragement. Someone who had supported my writing. My voice. My courage.

And then this:

“Why do you keep telling people on LinkedIn about your issues with the Police? People on social media do not care… You are a white woman and former police woman… Just move on…”

He went on to say that, as a Black man, he thought I was “better than this” and had more meaningful things to contribute.

I read the message several times.

I sat with it over my first cup of coffee, trying to interpret tone, the same way I’ve written before about how tone gets lost in written communication. I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. Tried to see the supportive angle.

But here’s the truth: It felt like being told to be quiet. Again.

Let Me Be Clear

I am not “complaining about policing.”

I dedicated 26 years of my life, my health, my energy, my identity, to this profession.

But I do have something to say.

I want policing to be better. Healthier. More supportive. More honest.

And the only way I know how to contribute to that is by telling the truth about what I experienced.

Not everyone’s experience. Not all policing.

Mine.

My book, Tightrope, was written for the people who thought they were the only ones. The ones who wondered if it was just them. The ones who felt like the system had broken them.

It wasn’t just you. And it wasn’t just me.

And more importantly, there is a way forward.

Why Speaking Up Matters

If we don’t talk about what needs to change, nothing changes.

Imagine if the engineers at Volvo had discovered the five-point seatbelt and decided to stay quiet. Worse, imagine if they patented it so no one else could use it.

Instead, they shared it. Freely. Because it saved lives.

That’s the standard.

That’s the responsibility.

That’s how I see this.

Why Do People Tell Others to “Shut Up” Online?

There’s actually research behind this behaviour.

Social media creates something psychologists call the online disinhibition effect, people say things they would never say face-to-face. Distance removes accountability. Empathy drops. Reaction replaces reflection.

There’s also something known as identity threat. When people read something that challenges their beliefs, their profession, or their worldview, it can feel personal, even if it isn’t. Instead of engaging with the message, they try to silence the messenger.

And then there’s algorithmic bias, not in the technical sense, but in how content performs. Controversial or emotionally charged posts tend to get more attention. People see more of it, feel fatigued by it, and sometimes respond with frustration: “Why are you still talking about this?”

But here’s the paradox: If it keeps showing up… it’s because it matters to someone.

My posts about police experience get way more attention, views, shares than any other type of content I put out there.

This Isn’t About Identity Labels

This isn’t about me being a woman. It’s not about me being white.

It’s about being human.

A human who lived through something. A human who learned something. A human who wants to share it so someone else might survive something.

Because sometimes all it takes is one post, one sentence, for someone in a dark place to feel seen.

And if that happens even once… it’s worth it.

Choice Still Exists

If someone doesn’t want to hear what I have to say they have options.

Unfollow. Scroll past. Mute.

That’s the beauty of social media.

Choice.

But telling someone to stop speaking? That’s something else entirely.

I’m Not Done Talking

Yes, I talk about policing.

But I also talk about being a mother. A wife. A friend. A leader. A woman navigating life.

Because that’s what I am.

And right now, my experiences, my 26 years in policing, my years of recovery, my journey into writing, are what I have to offer.

I’m only four months into being a published author.

I’ll have more stories one day.

But these are the ones I have now.

So Here’s Where I Land

To the person who told me to “move on”, Thank you for the part where you said I have more to contribute.

You’re right.

I do.

But that contribution is going to come from my lived experience. Not from silence.

And To Everyone Else…

To those who message me weekly…To those who say “this resonated”…To those who felt less alone after reading Tightrope…

I hear you.

And for now...That tells me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.