Mind The Gap!

Years ago, traveling through Europe in my twenties, I kept hearing the same phrase in train stations: “Mind the gap.” It was a reminder to watch that small but potentially dangerous space between the platform and the train.

In many ways my retirement from policing  felt exactly like that. A space in between, small enough to miss, big enough to cause problems.

I’d been told by both friends and professionals to take that first year and simply settle. No big changes, no drastic decisions. Just let my body and mind recover from 26 years of policing.

So, to “mind the gap,” I created something new: a 101 Things Bucket List.

Yes, 101 things I wanted to do, see, and accomplish before I “kick the bucket.” The first 15 or 20 came easily. Filling the rest was harder, so I enlisted my 19-year-old daughter, who enthusiastically started adding items as though it were her own list. (I didn’t keep all her suggestions, but I did agree to matching tattoos #61 that one made the cut!)

I counted the list from the moment I stopped policing, even before my official retirement date. It felt fair, because the shift in my life had already begun.

Some items are big, some are small. Some require courage, others just presence. All remind me that moving on from any career or purpose that has defined you for decades is no small transition.

The Hardest Season

The winter was the worst. Dark, rainy days, too much quiet, and far too much time alone. Sad thoughts crept in, followed by guilt. How could I feel low when I had everything people dream of? A home, family, dogs, pension, health (even with my MS, better than many face), food, and most of all….time.

But guilt doesn’t erase feelings.

I reminded myself of something I once heard: “If everyone threw their troubles into a circle, once you saw what others were carrying, you’d rush to grab your own back.”

So, I worked on my list. I cooked from scratch, sourdough bread #19 on the list, pasta from scratch #20. I lifted weights. I stood barefoot on the grass and called it grounding. I slept in (when the dogs allowed it). I wrote my book #1 on the list, read, and slowly returned to socializing and going out, going to a concert with my daughter, #85 on the list, it was Cyndi Lauper (awesome!).

Choosing the Platform

Retirement is harder than I expected, yet if I had the chance to go back to long weeks, constant conflict, commuting, exhaustion, and carrying problems I couldn’t solve, I wouldn’t.

I’d choose this space—this gap—every time.

Because “minding the gap” isn’t just about caution. It’s about gratitude. It’s about pausing, reflecting, and then stepping onto the next train.

Sometimes that train is sightseeing—sitting back, watching others, enjoying the view. Sometimes it’s a new direction entirely. The beauty is, you can always step off at the next stop and try again.

I saw a quote once that said something like, "if you are on the wrong train get off as quick as possible or the return trip will be expensive". I get that. But you don't necessarily need to ever "Return" to where you were. Just get off when you know it's going the wrong way. Even trains that go in the wrong direction can teach you something.

Finding My Way

As I begin sharing my journey as a new author, I also want to share what it has been like to move on. Maybe I’ll reveal more of my bucket list as I go.

For now, if you’re facing your own gap, take a breath, take your time. It won’t last forever. Soon, you’ll step onto your next train, ready for the journey ahead.

As for me… I’m off to tackle item #90 on the bucket list- making homemade ice cream!