Go Where They Are

When I was Chief of Police in my hometown, I wanted more than anything to connect with youth. I knew the struggles they faced, the confusion, pressure, mistakes, and the heavy weight of a future that seemed to demand answers before they were ready. Over the years, I had seen countless files: alcohol and drug experimentation, risky driving, relationships gone bad, and the anxiety of not knowing what comes next. The most devastating part was going to the family home to meet with the parents and family when the files had tragic results. Those moments broke my heart, I needed to be doing more.

I was told the only way to truly connect and maybe have a small impact was to go where they are. Youth weren’t reading the newspaper or attending council meetings. They were at school, at hangouts, on social media. So every year, I visited all the local high schools and spoke with Grade 12 students.

These students were standing at a threshold. They were the “big dogs” of high school, confident in their surroundings, but soon they would be the most junior person in a new environment, starting all over again. The pressure to have it all figured out weighed heavily on them, but I reminded them that it didn’t have to.

One of the most impactful moments I remember was with a young woman who tearfully told me she had “missed her chance” at becoming a nurse because she hadn’t taken the right classes. She was ready to give up her dream. I put my hands on her shoulders and told her what I now write about: life is long, and one mistake in high school does not define your future. I explained it would only take one semester to make up the classes she’d missed. I told her I was 27 before I joined policing, long after university and that eventually I became a Chief of Police. “Never give up your dream,” I told her. She hugged me tightly. Can you even imagine a young person not pursuing their dream because they feel 18 was too old?

At the end of each talk, I gave the students inspirational stones and asked them why they chose the ones they did. Months later, I heard that a graduating class had placed their stones on the tables at their dinner, sharing the stories behind them. That moment reminded me that small gestures can ripple into something much bigger.

Now that I’ve retired from policing, I still carry that lesson with me: go where they are. My own young adult children remind me often that the next generation I want to connect with isn’t on LinkedIn, it’s on Instagram. So, despite being a self-confessed Gen X “tech struggler,” I’ve finally opened my Instagram account. My kids are now my teachers, helping me figure out posts, videos, and reels.

I don’t know exactly what I’m doing on Instagram, but that’s not the point. The point is to meet people where they are, to build community, and to share the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Just like I once walked into classrooms, I’m now walking into this digital space.

So if you’re on Instagram, come find me. I’d love to connect and forgive my clunkiness at the start, I come by it honestly!

picking out an inspirational stone